Hidden Feelings

   I try to rely on the things that inspire me and I like to think that my kids are the main inspiration or driving force that keeps me going.
After they were born and I realized we were alone, I wanted to put my emotions on hold for everything in general. I took care of them very well but I felt emotionally turned off. Why? because it felt safer that way, I could actually make it through the day.
It wasn't because a "guy" had left me, it was because it felt like my future was pulled out from under me and I did not see that one coming.
The girls kept my heart beating, is how I feel now. They gave me a second chance at life and possibly love.
How could you have such a precious responsibility and not fall in love with them?

   So I accepted it for what it was, but I won't say I "got over things" till a few years later. I didn't give myself closure until I found the way to...
 Want to know my secret? I started putting my goals and dreams higher, thinking great. When I started feeling like I could accomplish Anything in the world, that's when I finally had closure.
   Just remember, whatever you achieve, whether you feel you have a personal cheer team or not, or have anyone to be proud of you, your kids will be.
One of the greatest feelings is when you are having an off day, and your little one says " Mommy, you're so beautiful", that's love. Love that is reserved for Mommy, your cheer team.

  In spite of my goals and inspirations for success in life, I won't pretend I don't have my huge moments of feeling completely like a failure. It's amazing how I can't have every aspect of my life together all at once, at least yet. I am definitely working on that.
It's kinda like you have the kitchen clean but you don't even want to see the laundry room. Or you have the house looking awesome, but the car, Oh boy!

I have found my biggest issue is organization, planning, facing my fears of the budget making, who knew something could be scarier than laundry,right?
  So I decided I am going to try a new route. Organize!! There are so many helpful hints from people and sites on organizing, but I feel, like everything else in life, the best way is to see what works for You.
Or maybe take tips from here and there and create your own power bomb. I'd love to share how that goes as it's happening. I am very open to what works or helps you. Since organizing will be a new look for me, I hope it looks good! :-)